How Too Much Comfort Can Hinder a Person’s Process

As humans we are adept at reading nonverbal language and signs. When a baby cries, our instinct, is probably to offer comfort. We may pick the baby up out of the crib, cuddle it, and find out what’s causing the distress. The same goes for our pets. We react when a dog cries softly to be let out, a cat meows to be fed, and a horse whinnies.

In situations where a friend or loved one is sad or crying, we may feel the need to comfort them. If we’re in a rehab for an addiction we come in contact with a considerable emotion. People break down and cry, or burst out in anger, and this is an important part of healing. Sometimes with good intention, we may unwittingly stop a person’s process by putting our harm around their shoulder, hug them or pat their back. This, of course can be done to us as well.

The comfort, however, can hinder our process by the very fact of interrupting it. Your emotions or someone elses are inadvertently blocked from letting more tears flow. One feels the comfort from another, and has a sense that they should reel in their emotions and get it together. Instead of touching a person, just sit quietly beside them. A quiet presence can be a gift. They can be with their feelings, know you are there, but not need to react to your comforting gestures. Crying isn’t about wallowing in pain, but letting it pass through you. You may have layers of emotions to uncover, so it’s important to think about your healing as a process, not a speed contest.

As a person in recovery for substance abuse, there are times when you need to be alone. If you are fortunate enough to have access to a beach, park or a woodland path, take a walk. As you walk, look and feel the rhythm of nature coursing through you. Walking can help move your feelings along, not by hurrying them up, but by giving them space to breathe.

Serenity Oaks provides an intensive 5 week program to support your sobriety and recovery from addiction. We aim to provide a space where you can find out how and why you have struggled with addiction. Our therapeutic and medical support are just one of the tools we provide to help set you up for success in recovery. Call us to find out how we can help you get started: 844-396-8526.  

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